Lunch Break Freewriting

When I’m working in the office, I find that I rarely take an honest-to-god lunch break. I’ll eat at my desk, I’ll take a few minutes to check my phone, but mostly I’ll work through my allotted 45 minutes. When I’m working from home, I’ll set a timer on my Apple Watch and do some tasks around the house to get away from my work — unload the dishwasher, put away some clutter, whatever other randomness catches my attention — then assemble my lunch before taking it back to my desk to eat while I work.

In the Before Times, I would occasionally walk next door to Starbucks over my lunch break and do some blogging on my phone and Bluetooth keyboard while enjoying a tasty beverage. Since the indoor passageway between my building and the adjoining one has been demolished, that’s not a routine that I’ll be reviving anytime soon, since it’s 25°F outside and I’m not down with bundling up just to go get a coffee.

The blogging part, though… that’s going to need to make a comeback.

I’ve been going to a therapist about twice a month for the past six or seven months, and I really wish I’d started therapy sooner. It’s a huge help to have someone listen to me talk about what’s been going on in my life, then bring my attention to aspects of my narrative that I wouldn’t have thought twice about. The whole experience reminds me of going out for coffee with my BFF back during college: we’d talk about our problems, talk around them, dive into what their causes might be, and brainstorm actionable solutions. Adding a licensed behavioral therapist into the mix gives that conversation more direction, as she can pick out key points and lend her expertise in helping me recognize certain behaviors and reactions in myself.

In between sessions, though… writing is a valuable tool for me to get my thoughts and emotions out of my head and into a space where I can see them, acknowledge them for what they are, recognize what they aren’t, and generally get myself into a healthier headspace.

Taking time to blog is a gift to myself… and my family. We all deserve the best version of me.

Wellness Wheel

I saw a therapist for the first time in my life this week — not because anything in particular is weighing on my mind, or anything tragic has happened, but just because my primary care physician (and the mental health community in general) assert that antidepressants work best in tandem with talk therapy.

After a few years of stalling, I finally did it. Even so, my opening argument of sorts was, “I feel like I shouldn’t be here.”

The first session was, as expected, a getting-to-know-you session, with a combination of brain-dump from me and required questions from her (e.g. “Are you in any legal trouble?”). As it happens, we found enough in common (including our love of Studio Ghibli and our dark senses of humor) that it wasn’t nearly as awkward as I expected. The outcome of our first one-hour session was a realization that journaling/blogging is an important factor in my mental health, and that I need to get back into the habit of getting my thoughts and feelings out of my head so I can recognize them and acknowledge them.

She also gave me some homework: a “Wellness Wheel” to fill out. I’m supposed to rank my satisfaction with each of eight areas of my life from 1 to 10. The instructions specifically say, “Go with your gut on this one,” so instead of first analyzing each one carefully with positives and negatives like I normally would, I’m just going to throw some numbers out there.

Me being who I am, though, I will present the results using an Excel graph instead of coloring in the worksheet she gave me.

CategoryDescriptionMy Rating
Physical HealthEating well, exercising, quality sleep8
Mental HealthHealthy mindset and emotions7
RelationshipsFeeling connected to others4
FinancesBudgeting, saving money9
CareerSatisfaction with work9
SpiritualityPersonal growth, seeking understanding7
HomeSafe and comfortable living space7

Now for some details.

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