Weighing In For January 2016

Now that I’ve been on the new Weight Watchers program for a month or so, I finally decided that I should no longer be eating my “Fit Points” — the measure of my daily/weekly activity. I used the swapping feature as a crutch, a transition, while I was acclimating to the new program. I’d only intended to do it that way for the first week or two. Now I’ve figured out the new program, though, and my weight loss is stalling (again… or still), and it’s time to do the program right.

My main problem is one that I’ve known about for years: I make poor decisions when I’m tired. My fatigued brain frequently thinks that sugar will fix tired, and it invariably does not work out like my brain thinks it should. Two Little Debbies are not worth an entire meal’s worth of SmartPoints, no matter how tired I am on a Sunday afternoon.

The solution, of course, is to make the decisions ahead of time, and to consider them made and immutable. That’s easier said than done, though, and depends upon me being in the right mindset. I veer wildly from I’ve Got This! to Fuck It, I’m Eating What I Want. One day of poor choices can set me back a week or more of weight loss — and that one day usually happens on Monday, right before weigh-in day. The silver lining is that it usually only takes me a day or two to re-lose a one-day gain like that, and then I’m back on track.

I thought I had a good solution: hearty breakfast, super-light lunch, then salad and protein for dinner. Unfortunately, my solution only lasted a few days before I needed a hearty lunch to go with my hearty breakfast. The light-lunch option worked well for a return to proper eating after a day or two of stupidity, but isn’t going to be a permanent eating pattern. Perhaps I can plan to do that once a week — again, remove the decision factor from my day.

NSVs (Non-Scale Victories):

  • Stopped by the 6th floor to grab something to eat after kickboxing class. They had macaroni and cheese in the steamer tray — and it didn’t even sound good. Got a wrap instead.
  • My chiropractor told me (again) that I keep getting skinnier and skinnier every time she sees me. I told her I think it’s an optical illusion from my hair getting shorter and shorter.

NSFW (Non-Scale Failwhale)

  • Ate the aforementioned Little Debbies on one tired Sunday afternoon, even after scanning them and seeing that they were 16 SmartPoints for a pack of two.
  • Failed to resist the Monday mac-and-cheese special on the 6th floor the week after successfully passing it by. (And the week after that.)

So, what’s my plan for February? My plan is to plan. I need to pick a time to sit down and figure out what my meals will be for the following week, then stick to that plan and not deviate from it. I can and will build in flexibility when warranted — my department at work goes out to lunch on Wednesdays, and my family goes out to eat two or three times during the weekend — but I need some structure beyond what I have going on right now.

If I only lose half a pound a week, I’ll be at my Goal Weight by summer. I can so do this. Now I just need to do it already, and not get in the way of my own success.

My Triumphant Return to Running

The x-ray, while boggling, was clear: there was no longer any evidence of spondylolisthesis. The condition that prompted my chiropractor to exhort me three years ago to “unlove” my new running hobby had corrected itself — due, presumably, to me strengthening my core and losing some 20 pounds.

So, shortly thereafter, when I found myself with no fitness class scheduled for the first Monday of the year, I decided that would be the day.

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Tired and Meh (Again)

I was going to title this entry “Behind the 8 Ball,” but then I realized that has more of a connotation of being in a losing position or a bad situation. I really just feel… meh.

I’ve felt meh before: November 12 and October 21 last year were two times that I actually wrote about it. Usually the meh keeps me from writing at all. I can’t blame it on my womanly cycle, since these three identified meh days were on cycle days 15, 18, and 11 in a 24-day cycle — not close enough for a correlation, I don’t think. I’d also love to blame the meh on the newly-reformulated Weight Watchers diet, but that change didn’t happen until December.

My weight’s been creeping up lately — just by a few pounds, but it’s noticeable to me. I’ve been having trouble resisting carby snacks when I’m tired — sugary desserts, pasta, that sort of thing. During the day, at work, I’ll keep a steady stream of coffee and tea going all day, with not much water in between.

According to my Sleep Cycle app, I spend between 8 and 9 hours in bed a night, with a “Sleep Quality” rating around 82% (although I spend more time in bed and sleep better on weekends than on weeknights). My bedtime is just before 11pm, on average, and I get up around 7am on weekdays and 8am on weekends. I sleep better if I do some yoga before bed to wind down, and if I get the lights out by 10pm. I sleep worse if I watch TV at night or stay up until 11pm.

I decided to hit the reset button on my eating habits today, in the hopes that getting my nutrition in order would help. I started the day with a light breakfast of toast with honey and some coffee with Splenda and cashew milk. That’s 124 calories out of my daily 1700 (according to LoseIt!), or 5 SmartPoints out of my daily 30. The plan was to cycle coffee or tea with water, and enjoy a light lunch of fruit between my 12:20 yoga class and my 2:00 team meeting, then make a largish salad with some protein for dinner. Surprisingly enough, the plan went well: I drank seven glasses of water, plus one cup of coffee and a few cups of tea (both green and black); yoga (as I suspected) improved my mood considerably; I didn’t feel the need to go buy a supplemental lunch from the cafe downstairs; and my dinner salad with a side of salmon went better than expected. I then had a low-calorie dessert and a small protein-rich snack after my son went to bed. As I finish this entry and prepare to post it, I’m contemplating a decaf latte with 1% milk.

Related to my sour mood: I’ve had a hard time lately just being alone with myself. I’ve been reading The Dude and the Zen Master before bed, doing some hamstring stretches, sometimes doing 15 minutes of yoga — but mostly, if I’m alone, I’m hunched over the blue glow of my phone. I stopped tracking my phone usage at the end of last year, and I think it’s crept up again. I’ll bet that I’d be happier if I cut down on my screen time and reintroduced meditation (zazen) into the daily mix. Hell, if I just stuck to a bedtime routine like I do with my son, that would be a good start. I just have so much other stuff I want to get done at night (but, oddly enough, I end up going down the internet rabbit hole instead of getting stuff done).

I’ve just been grumpy and tired and headachy and can’t concentrate and I want something to change. Today was a definite step in the right direction.